ECKLEBURG
2004-09-17 - 1:55 p.m.
To put some irony into the fear I have of political and religious discussions (see previous post . . .), have I mentioned that I am (or at last have been) a total chick magnet for super religious, hard-right wing, evangelist women? Many of these girls I was very interested in dating during my early dating career. And indeed, I dated my fair share.
Looking back, I have two explanations – First, most of these girls were actually very nice, funny, vivacious intelligent people once you got past that crunchy shell of devout purity. Sure we both had to overlook some serious philosophical differences that ran to each’s core, but in teenage relationships, a lot of incompatibilities can indeed be made to go away by simply ignoring them.
The second explanation is rebellion.
You know the TV cliché of the “nice” teenage daughter who insists on dating crazy, loser, slightly-to-old, and rebel guy? And then comic hilarity ensues as the parents freak out? This is the inverse of my relationships with these women. These super-Christians (or Mormons, etc.) can cause the same worries discomfort to the parents of a intelligent, free thinking child as the loser boyfriend does.
In TV land, it would go something like this:
Stage: Interior of typical suburban home,
Enter Rebel guy, with “nice Christian” girl on his arm to meet his parents.
Rebel Son: “Hi Mom, this is the new love of my life, Kristin Mary Farwell.”
KMF: “It is nice to meet you and for me and Jesus to finally come into your home . . .”
Rebel Parents, unpacking all their anarchist propaganda from their recent trip to the Republican Convention: “Oh god, now she’ll try to have our son say grace before every meal, and abandon traditional medicine for faith healing, and waste perfectly good Sundays with prayer and bible study. If only he had turned out gay“
Rebel Son: Dad, I know you said I should decide who I am, and right and wrong for myself? Well Kristin has shown me a way easier and clearer way! I have found a pre-packaged belief system that doesn’t require all that uncertainty and difficult introspection. I can know exactly who I am and what is right and wrong right away, without having to put any effort into it myself!
Its like existentialism is a really hard to make 7 course French meal, and Organized Religion is a TV dinner. And, really I just don’t have all that time and energy for French cooking. Sure, I don’t like the included sides of abstinence and homophobia, and they main courses tend to be a bit too salty, but when I’m at the grocery store with my stack of TV Dinners, I just feel bad for those not-religious people who are STILL trying to figure out what Chou-Fleur a la Mornay, Gratine is, and what it means when all the other existentialist chefs advise them to simmer there belief system “until done, but don’t overcook.”
KMF: “I hate to be rude, but do you mind if I turn on your TV for a moment, my favorite show on FOX news is about to come on . . . unless those communist liberal wackos have censored it, of course.”
Of course, that is only the TV Version. And you can probably envision the crazy hijinks that happen when rebel guy was brought into nice Christian household. Their poor nice daughter might backslide, and lose her chance at eternal salvation!
I think that was part of my charm to some of the girls I dated. I could be the “bad rebel loser boyfriend” without really being bad or rebellious or really a loser. I was the best of both worlds. I mean really, aside from the religious thing, how threatening is a boyfriend who was in Band, whose passion was the debate team, and who was a member of the chess club (and, at least in my opinion, not coming across as nerdy)?
But then again, I guess even nice guys just aren’t worth it if the price is your daughter’s soul.
