ECKLEBURG
2004-03-12 - 2:27 p.m.
Lent –
So what’s up with Lent. Before moving to VA, I only knew one person who ever gave up something for lent, and I am pretty sure he was all talk. In VA, everybody seems to be giving up something left and right. I thought this was a Christian thing, but it seems much more “multicultural.”
At the same time, I must say that what people give up is pretty uncreative and boring. Generally it seems to be: junk food, smoking, cursing, or slothy, unproductive pastimes like watching TV, etc. No Doritos for a bit, whose going to be shocked and awed by that feat! So, to get in the spirit, I have come up with my own list of CREATIVE, inspiring things I think people should give up (I could get in the spirit by giving up something myself, but that’s just crazy talk)
1. Religion – now here’s a twist, maybe Lent should be a time for people who are super-religious to try out atheism, or maybe become a Jew or a Muslim or Taoist for a while, just to make sure they’re not missing something. My company is always talking about the virtues of occasionally bringing in outsider to make sure we get new ideas and perspectives, why shouldn’t this work in organized religion as well.
2. People that are constantly watching their weight should give up all healthy food for a while. Dieticians always say if you give up a type of food completely, you will develop powerful urges. Maybe a few weeks without slim-fast will drive thousands to crowd store isles in search of products with artificial chocolate flavorings.
3. Casual Fridays – Since the trend is offices going from formal to “business casual,” and since Friday is usually the day that is counter the norm for dressing, perhaps Casual Friday needs to become Formal Friday – with pantyhose and suits and ties and leather and hats and briefcases. Maybe people will like it, it will be like a mini-Halloween every week!
4. Safe Sex – I keep reading all these articles about how “kids today just don’t understand the risks involved with sex.” Perhaps what kids need is a demonstration of the risks -- if we all got together and have unprotected sex, especially if it is with strangers, we would have something we could point at and demonstrate those risks. It’s one thing to show kids pictures of syphilis and herpes, but if you could point to their little brother and say “see what happens when you don’t have safe sex,” now THAT’S impact!
5. Heterosexuality (or homosexuality, if you are gay) – Now I you really want to make a sacrifice something for lent, nothing hits home like the sex life. So why don’t we put our common practices aside are try out how the other half lives. As bonus points, Straight people could grab a friend and try to marry them, or at least fill out the 11 main legal documents to get similar benefits. Gay people could go become scout leaders and take their troops to go protest the heathens getting same-sex marriages at the courthouse!
6. Supporting Our Troops – Everybody is doing it, almost subconsciously at this point. Do you even notice the American Flag bumper sticker on your car anymore? So let’s make it a new and special thing later by giving it up for now! Of course, I don’t know how one would even approach this. I mean, aside from paying taxes that provide for the troops, and buying a flag-inspired item at Wal-Mart that our troops won’t see (they are on the other side of the world after all), what do we really do?
Of course, certain leaders on the Right would have us believe that questioning our leaders, and especially the policies of George Bush, are the worst thing you could do to our troops. Any questioning obviously validates the terrorist position, and fractures our unity against “the others.” And, we need to show unity against the terrorists, “You’re either with us or against us,” as our President says. So perhaps this would be an excellent time to really take a deep look at George Bush’s policy’s, and raise a few questions about what’s really going on.
Well that should keep everybody busy until next year, where perhaps we can tackle driving on the right side of the road and modern medical science. Peace be with you!
