ECKLEBURG
2003-12-22 - 1:44 p.m.
After 17 days in my new job and new home, we are going back to ABQ tonight. No, not for good – just long enough to spend the Christmas season with friends and family. This, of course, required us to join the other mass of people doing Christmas shopping.
During the course of shopping for presents, I came to certain conclusions about the subtleties of present buying. I have decided that I am rather illogical and unjust in my present buying. Some people get the lavish presents wholly out of whack with what the average present will be. Some other people are getting hand-me-down socks. If you helped me move, don’t worry, you will be well taken care of.
Second, we had to take our moral stand either for or against gift certificates. Now, some people say that gift certificates are evil and not personal enough to be a meaningful gift. Others have realized that trying to decide whether your brother-in-law prefers his sweaters slightly baggy and needs the XL, or if he even likes multicolored sweaters in the first place. In these cases, the “screw it, lets get him a gift certificate” impulse becomes quite strong.
We have come down on the pro-gift certificate side, with one condition – the gift certificate should be to or for something that the person would like, but wouldn’t or shouldn’t spend their own money on it. So, for example, the Wal-Mart gift certificate is banned, because people will just piss it away on paper towels and shampoo that they would have bought anyway.
On the other hand, gift certificates for massages are ok because most people would like them, but somehow cannot justify their expense very often. In the same vein, McD’s gifts certificates would be a no, but gift certificates to snooty French restaurants are A-OK.
And Rule three, the best presents are the ones that you secretly want for yourself – if you find yourself secretly hoping for all of your friends to die in tragic bus accidents so that you can keep the present you otherwise were going to give them, then it is a good present!
Also, if you have to fly across the country, heavy glass gifts – like crystal and huge lidded cake displays – are completely out.
Adios for now!
